ATTN Walmart Shoppers: Snakes on Aisle 1. No, Aisle 3…Wait, Aisle 7

Need to go to Walmart? I would take a snake kit or a pronged stick! Did you know that since 2006 at least five people have been bitten by a variety of snakes, mostly Rattlesnake?

Sounds crazy, but they seem to like the garden section.

 

Here are a few instances:

Mica Craig continues to recover from rattlesnake bite he received at a Wal-Mart store in eastern Washington state The Lewiston (Idaho) Tribune reports Craig initially thought the object was a stick outside of the lawn and garden department. Then the “stick” bit him on the hand. KATU reports Craig was treated with six bags of anti-venom at a hospital in Lewiston, Idaho. The bite happened in Clarkson, Wash.

 Wal-Mart St. Augustine, Fla., July 2009. Jeriel Joiner  bent down to pick up a baby bottle that had fallen in the lawn and garden section. A baby pygmy rattlesnake latched onto his pointer finger and bit him. The snake was killed by a Wal-Mart employee with a broom. Apparently they are common to the area.

 John Page’s finger in November 2006,bitten by a pygmy rattlesnake. Four months later, his finger was unable to move and is locked in one position due to the venom from the 12-year-old snake. Page’s lawyer claimed to have documented proof of seven snake attacks in Wal-Mart stores going back 20 years. In a statement by the company, Wal-Mart said “it is uncommon when a customer or associate comes across a snake in our garden center.”

Delaine Jarrell, a Jacksonville, Fla. doesn’t seem to think it was uncommon. She was walking through her local Wal-Mart when a snake bit her in June 2006.  The snake wasn’t poisonous, but she still went to the emergency room two days later to insure the bite wasn’t infectious.

September 2009 a man in his mid-30s who was bitten by a copperhead rattlesnake. The incident happened in the lawn and garden section of the Wal-Mart in Goose Creek, S.C. EMTs killed the snake at the store and brought it in the ambulance for later identification. Officials stated only one of the snake’s fangs entered the man. Copperheads are common the Carolina’s, according to the article.

Not sure what is happening. I guess the cast of “Snakes On a Plane” needed jobs also and maybe because Walmart is an equal opportunity employer, they tried to get a little help in the “vermin managing” department and brought a few in?

Post Note to the first story about Mica Craig? Forgot to mention he was looking for mulch for his medical marijuana grow operation. Maybe that is why he thought it was a stick… because we all know Walmart has a HUGH stick department.

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The New JLo Barbie Doll

Well, Mattel you have done it again. You have made a new doll in the likeness of Jennifer Lopez and once again have made her figure unrecognizable to anything that resembles JLo’s curvy body

Well, Mattel  you have done it again. You have made a new doll in the likeness of Jennifer Lopez and once again have made the figure of the doll unrecognizable to anything that resembles JLo’s curvy body. Just as the original Barbie doll is overly exaggerated to be an unrealistic version of a woman, you have cut the curves from Jennifer like you were slicing corned beef in a deli; ultra thin and very unsatisfying to receive.

Jennifer has long embraced her curvalicious form to the great delight of millions of fans. She has built her wardrobe around her booty and her thighs to show she is proud of her womanly figure and not afraid to show it. But Mattel in their misogynistic-type judgement has decided Jennifer is not perfect enough to show in true form but needed a little sculpting.  Hence the doll that looks like Jenny From the Block’s super skinny counterpart.

Let’s compare the two, shall we? Here are the dolls, dressed in outfits Jennifer has worn in real life. On the whole the dolls are pretty but with the trademark look that Mattel has established as a “real” woman’s body; big boobs, small waist, skinny thighs.

JLO-Barbie

A side view showing her “JLo booty”:

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Here is Jennifer dressed in the outfits in real life:

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The doll is obviously not playing up her “ass”ets and is another disappointment to real women everywhere when the doll maker is once again promoting the idea that the “real woman” is going to be 36-18-33 in measurements. (Maybe in the 1800’s when women were wearing whalebone corsets and squeezing their innards into organ damaging shapes.) For once, I would like to see a doll that really shows the configuration of the person that they are trying to sell.

photos by: dailymail.uk.co; papusilemele.com

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